Dear Home, I’m Sorry

Dear Downingtown,

 

I know I once said I couldn’t wait to escape you. The edgy teen phase in me wanted to hate my small hometown. Well, I lied. I’m sorry. 

The truth is…

I really love the way you’re always changing. You’ve allowed me to experience every season, while simultaneously watching me change with every season. 

I love walking into a gas station and not having to worry about knowing everyone but always knowing someone. 

I love that you were the perfect place to live out my teenage coming-of-age movie dreams. But also the best place to retreat and relax. The perfect mix of adventure and fun with comfort and solace. 

I love the memories you hold. So many good and fun and crazy memories. So many memories that are special and secret in my heart, and countless memories that I share every time I get the chance. Memories of growth, and memories of hurt. 

I love leaving you for those weekend trips. Packing up the car with my best friends, knowing our return will be soon. 

I love your people. Man, do I love your people. My people. The people that raised me and loved me. They’re the biggest reason I love you. 

I love that you hold such a huge spot in my heart… as much as I tried to deny it before. 

I lied to you once about not loving you, and I won’t do that again. To be honest, I miss you like hell. I miss everything about you, and everything about the people you hold.

But…

(yes I’m gonna make this optimistic, I can’t help it)

I know God leads us only where we’re supposed to be. I know I am only here because it is His plan for me. I’ve met truly amazing people here in Guatemala. I’ve gotten to do things that I could’ve never done before. I’ve been teaching English classes to the most adorable children who are hungry to learn. I’ve had the privilege to lead in boldness and show Guatemalan women that they have voices and authority through Jesus too. My team and I have celebrated and shown love to the children here. We’ve gotten to visit countless local homes and help the people they hold. I have tried my best to demonstrate and pour out the love that I have received. I’ve experienced a lot more than I ever thought I would. And I’m only ? of the way through! While six months seems so long, and my heart hurts thinking of how much time that is, I’m glad I miss you. I’m glad I miss you this much because if I miss you this much, I know how much I truly love you. 

I thank God every day for you, home, because you gave me people to love. You gave me a place to grow and flourish. Now, I get to go into the world and show everyone all the things I’ve learned. 

Don’t worry though, I’ll be back. I’ll always be back. Cause the truth is, I really love my small hometown, as un-teenager as that may sound.