I think it’s always been hard for me to comprehend the idea that God is just, and all powerful and at the same time, sweet, gentle, and loving. He does it all, how cool is that? When I first started getting to know God i only wanted to know the side of Him that shows endless mercy, erases our sins, and loves us either way. I didn’t want to see the side of Him that hated sin, the “big scary God” that the Old Testament talks about. Now that I know God more, i can safely say, I need that side of Him. I need my Lion to show me how to stand up for myself, how to stand up for others, and how to fight for good. I don’t want a God that is only gentle. I don’t want a God that will permit the evils of this world to do the things they are doing and to cause the hurt they’re causing. I want a just God. A God who loves His people enough to protect them, to do everything in His power to build a relationship with them, and to stand up against the things that rip us away from Him. I’ve seen this side of God. I like this side of God. It gives me fire and passion and a desire to do as much good as i can in this world. 

I can also very surely say i’ve met and come to love the beautiful lamb who is Jesus. My absolute safe space. He teaches me to dream and to chase those dreams. He gently holds the whole world in His hands and shows me just how much is possible with Him. He loves to just listen to me. He loves to show me how much He loves me, in the absolute sweetest ways. The friend who loves us so much that He paints the sky beautiful colors each night, just for us to appreciate. The father who fills every hole that I thought would never feel full again. I’ve learned more about His heart for the people. That He too is tired of people hurting. That He’s tired of me hurting. Sometimes, I feel His heartache for His people, and man is it deep. He had always been my missing piece, all along it was Him. Yet sometimes I still run, but I know i’ll find Him patiently awaiting with open arms, every time I loose my way. Thank you, Jesus for being the gentle Lamb that I, and everyone else needs. 

Little testimony:

It’s crazy to think that four years ago I was this little ball of anxiety. It was a struggle for me to meet new people, and even to want to hang out with the friends I already had. Life was hard honestly, everything always felt like a task I didn’t want to do. Long story short, I met the Lord. Now, I’m on a 9 month trip across the world with 40 people that I hadn’t met before. I have met hundreds of people and built relationships with so many. Truthfully, I have barely even thought of anxiety in general until writing this blog. Something that once consumed me no longer has a place in my life or even my mind. Now, if that isn’t a testimony! The gentleness and love of God taught me that He is in control of it all and that I can have a relationship with Him and be confident in the future. The confidence and braveness of God taught me how to walk it out. 

God, you are so cool for being absolutely everything we need. Some of us want a just and passionate God, others want a merciful and friendly God. You are both of those things, and despite what I wanted from you when I chose you, i have come to realize, You, and all of You, are what I needed. You encompass it all. Thank You Lord for being the Lion and the Lamb.